I started exercising again yesterday. Like REALLY exercising. Since Cecilia's choking incident and my accompanying anxiety attacks last August, I have stuck with low impact exercise like walking and yoga for fear of overexerting myself.

I finally realized I wasn't doing myself any favors. I am by no means a #fitmom or someone who will ever build my whole life around fitness, but it is so important for me to be strong for my littles. Especially my daughter. So yesterday I picked up weightlifting again.

"She laughs without fear of the future."

I say that verse over and over but I have yet to take it on as my own identity. Maybe I need to say it in first person? Who knows.

It was like as soon as my first child was placed in my womb, I was also given a ball of anxiety that sits in my gut or my chest or somewhere in my body that is super annoying. My fears are a hearty mix of practical and totally irrational.

Home brew (kombucha) is a reminder to slow down in an instant gratification world. This batch was started 3 weeks ago and it's still not ready. It's drinkable, but it doesn't have the carbonation that makes kombucha so lovable yet. It took two weeks for it to ferment to the perfect tartness for my taste buds and now I have to wait.

Potty training update. I am so proud of this girl. Yesterday she made it the entire day with dry underpants. She still needs to learn to tell me when she needs to go, but at least she goes when I ask her (after a couple minutes of fighting it...It's a process, people). As parents, or just as people for that matter, we work hard and long towards our goals. In the midst of it, it seems as though there is no progress. Everything we do is met with resistance, but we keep pressing forward, trusting that all of our efforts are going to pay off someday. This was a much needed reminder that it is so worth it. Have we completely arrived yet?! Absolutely not! We have weeks (probably months) to go before she is fully trained, but yesterday was a much needed glimmer of hope.

Day 3 potty training. In short, it's a challenge. I'm not child development specialist by any means, but I'm a mom and I can tell you that tantrums increase anytime a child (at least my kids) is learning a new skill. I get it! It's so frustrating when you are trying to learn something and aren't good at it yet. It must be even more frustrating when you are being told you have to do it by someone else. 

Day 1 potty training was a success! She had two accidents, but many more successes. By the time my husband came home she could recognize that she had to go and asked him to help her and she made it in time!

It is always a process. We are no where near done, but I think it's going to stick this time. She is much more motivated by getting to wear underpants than her brother was so that is helpful. She takes her transition into being a "big girl" very seriously. I could not be more proud of her and her patience with herself and determination to not be a baby anymore.

I'm a horrible potty trainer. The worst. I tried duel potty training my two kids a little over a year ago. For 10 days. I started with that "potty train your child in a day" crap, and 10 days later neither child was potty trained. Earlier this year my son was potty trained (still working on nights) and today I decided we'd try potty training this one. She just turned 2.5 last week and recently transitioned into her big girl bed with ease and cooperation. Today we are sitting in the bathroom all day with pretzels, juice and books to see if we can make it happen.

When I was growing up, I remember my parents going to Napa Valley for a business trip which they turned into a mini vacation. They left us at home with a babysitter. No big deal, right? Wrong! I remember our babysitter didn't even have her drivers license at the time. That means, my parents left their 4 precious children at home with another human that was not even 16 years old. What on earth were they thinking?

The times are different now! Not only is our generation way more wary about who watches our kids, the people who are willing and responsible to watch our offspring are few and far between and because of the most basic principle of economics: supply vs. demand, they are hella expensive. I'm talking $12-$15/hr. That's for a high schooler with basic CPR training and a drivers license. Not that we would ever let them drive our kids anywhere, but at least we don't have to pick them up or bring them home. 

Sundays sometimes end up being the only day of the week we can get things done. You know, grocery shopping, cleaning, prepping for the week ahead. While I honor (and long for) a full Sabbath day, I'm happy for Sabbath moments. Moments where we stop doing and focus on just being. Being present. Being grateful. Being nothing but who God created us to be.

Welcome to my new Friday series where I will share what I loved this week. Inspired by literally anyone else who does this same sort of post. I would be an idiot if I assumed I was the first rocket surgeon to come up with this brilliant idea to share things I liked with people who may or may not care, but for the sake of not needing to bother my husband with it anymore, I share it with you!  

I'll share a mix of things I'm reading, drinking, eating, wearing, doing, like for me, like for the kids, etc. Basically just things I liked this week. Enjoy! 

"Guys, look at mommy! Over here! Say cheese?! Just for one second. Pretty please?! Look at me!!!" Screw it.

Real life isn't picture perfect. Sometimes it is goofy and unflattering. And by sometimes, I mean usually. Sometimes we don't feel like smiling or we don't feel like putting on makeup or brushing our hair. Sometimes we feed our kids non organic hot dogs and Mac & Cheese for dinner...3 nights in a row. Some days we are ambitious boss babes who feel they can conquer the world and other days it's hard to even get out of bed, let alone "follow our dreams." Most days for most people are filled with self doubt and failure. Most moments are mundane.

This week we took our dining room table out of our dining room and brought it into the porch. I sanded it, primed it and repainted it with chalkboard paint, turning it into a game table. 
People keep asking me what we'd do for a dining table now and the answer is that I don't know.

This little spitfire is 2.5 today. How on earth did that even happen?! She has brightened our lives in ways we didn't even know were possible. She spends her life trying to make people around her laugh and smile. She'll pretend to fall and make it a big gesture because even at this young age, she understands that watching people fall is one of the funniest things ever. She strives to bring joy wherever she goes.

This morning I woke up again with horrible back and shoulder pain. My kids were awake by 6:00 and there was no going back. PBS Kids parented my children for a good hour while I did some yoga to stretch out the area in pain and enjoy a cup of coffee while getting in the word. By 10:00, we were all antsy! We had been up for 4 hours and yet it was only freaking TEN O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!

We hopped in the car and set off for wherever our mood took us. Most of us still in our PJ's.

I live for date nights with my main squeeze.

As a work at home mom, I spend my days wiping up snot, poop, pee, juice, bug guts, yogurt, spit, and anything else that has the capability of spilling. I hear my name repeated over and over and over, except it isn't my name, it's my designation: mom. It's what I am and what I do, but it is not all of me.

This rainy morning has us exploring from the inside. We were going to head to the gym, but there were some character issues that popped up that needed some work, so we opted to stay home and work on cultivating good attitudes.

Spending time on attitudes is so important. Sometimes it is easier to change scenery and distract them, which usually works to calm bad attitudes in toddlers. The problem is that it is only a bandaid for a deeper issue.

I am a helicopter mom and I hate myself for it. Can anyone else relate? 

Hear me out. When I imagined what I would be like as a mother, I pictured being cool and collected. Trusting my children as they figured out their boundaries by learning from their own mistakes. If they fell, they would get back up and try try again. 

Then something happened... I actually had some kids.

Weekends are my jam. Nate has so much PTO and we don't have any big vacays planned so he has been taking random Fridays off so we can extend our weekends and enjoy time as a family. It has been aaahhhmaaazing! 

This Monday has me in a daze and all I want to do is lounge and play the day by ear. But alas, life does not stop in the summer and I have client calls, meals to make and a home to tend to and I can't think of a better day than Monday to get shiz done!