I'm back (again)

Every journal I’ve ever had has been filled with notes like this. Not saying this is a journal but the sentiment is the same. This is the post where I assume you’ve been wondering where I’ve been. I actually laugh thinking about it right now. Not at you wondering where I’ve been, but thinking about my high school journal wondering why I had not written in a while. I like to think I’m not alone in this - in the need to explain to a book filled with paper why I’d been so neglectful. Maybe it was shame. Maybe I was afraid that I needed a real reason to explain my lack of discipline. Maybe I just wanted future me to know what was happening between my long dry spells.

I’m trying to figure out why I feel the need to write a post like this now. Why I need to explain to you where I’ve been. I pulled away from the blog and the instagram for a while. Actually a long while. I just didn’t know what to say. That’s a lie. I had things I wanted to say, but worried it wouldn’t “draw traffic” or “build engagement.” In fact sometimes I did say things and they didn’t create engagement so I took them down. I’m sorry about that.

Why I started this blog

I started "Momming is Hard” a few months after my second baby was born. I was deep in a hazy mix of sleep deprivation and postpartum depression. I read a blog post by a writer I admire. It made me laugh and it gave me hope all in one five minute read. I remember going to dinner with Nate later that evening and saying, “That’s what I want to do. I think I can make women feel less alone.” So that’s what I did. I just started telling my story in hopes of making one of you feel less alone.

Slowly (like really slowly) but surely I started getting emails from you with YOUR stories. You too were depressed during your pregnancy, or you also didn’t have a big house so your baby and toddler had to share rooms. Hearing your stories made it all worth it.

Then something happened…

Life eased up. My chaotic life of having #2under2 all of a sudden felt easier. And an easy life made for less “content.” Yes, I know how bad that sounds. So I was actively looking for things that were hard or bad or negative so I could write under the brand of “Momming Is Hard.” In return I was making it harder than it needed to be. I was taking the joy out of the every day and I had to step aside.

Now I have things to say (aka what to expect):

I still have things to say and it hopefully will make you feel less alone and it may even have to do with motherhood, but mostly I hope it makes you feel free. I am going to focus on writing the Truth here. You will see more Christian-centric posts. You probably still won’t see posts on a regular basis. I’m done making promises about that. I have this space so I plan to use it. It will evolve over the next year, but that’s okay. I hope you’ll evolve with me.